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I Thought I Was Learning. Turns Out, I Was Just Thinking About Learning.

November 29, 2025•3 min read•
#Self

Lately, I’ve realized something uncomfortable about myself: I do too much in my head and almost nothing in real life.

I can spend hours “building systems” mentally. I plan projects, imagine solutions, design architectures, and walk through every detail internally. From the outside, it looks like I’m not doing anything. And the worst part? I often convince myself that thinking is progress.

But it’s not.

Living Inside My Head

I’ve built this strange habit where I feel productive just by thinking. I imagine writing code, setting up databases, solving bugs, even finishing entire applications — all inside my head.

My body doesn’t move. My hands don’t touch the keyboard. No files are created. No commits are made.

Just thoughts.

And somehow, my brain gives me a fake sense of accomplishment.

The YouTube Trap

Another hard truth: I spend a lot of time watching programming and math videos on YouTube.

It feels productive. I nod along. I understand what they’re saying. I think to myself:

“Yeah, I get this.” “I could build that.” “That makes sense.”

But when I actually try to code something from scratch?

I’m stuck.

Nothing comes out.

It turns out I wasn’t learning — I was just consuming.

Passive Learning Feels Like Progress (But Isn’t)

Watching tutorials gives the illusion of competence.

My brain recognizes patterns. It feels familiar. It feels easy. So I assume I’ve learned something.

But real learning is uncomfortable:

  • When you don’t know what to type next
  • When nothing works
  • When you have to debug your own mistakes
  • When there’s no “solution video” to copy

That’s where growth happens. And I’ve been avoiding that part.

The Gap Between Knowing and Doing

The scariest realization is this:

Thinking about doing something is not the same as doing it. Watching someone do something is not the same as learning it.

I’ve been living in the gap between intention and execution.

And that gap is wide.

What I’m Trying to Change

I don’t want to be a “mental worker” anymore — someone who works only in their head and produces nothing in the real world.

I’m trying to follow a simple rule now:

Less thinking. More typing.

Even bad code is better than imaginary perfect code. Even messy practice is better than perfect plans that don’t exist.

Final Thought

If you’re like me — stuck in your head, trapped in YouTube tutorials, feeling “busy” but not moving forward — just know this:

You’re not lazy. You’re just stuck in passive mode.

And the only way out is action.

One small, ugly, real step at a time.